Becoming a nomad isn’t quite as seamless a transition as I envisioned months ago. Imagine selling or giving away almost everything you own, placing a few pieces of furniture and some artwork in foster care with friends, and packing the rest of your belongings in your car. How might you feel, knowing there is no... Continue Reading →
Riding the Waves of a Story
Whenever I have the opportunity, I visit a lighthouse. It’s in my blood. My great-great-grandfather, Charles Greene Crane, was a member of the U.S. Lifesaving Service, the forerunner of the Coast Guard. He and his crew stood watch over the sea at Harvey Cedars, on Long Beach Island, New Jersey. We grew up hearing stories... Continue Reading →
Pearly Gates
Driving the Ravenel Bridge over the Cooper River from Charleston to aptly named Mount Pleasant, I’m struck by the sunlight glinting off the bridge’s cables. “Looks like the Pearly Gates,” I say out loud to no one, creating an official theme for the day. Soon I’m sitting in the sun on the deck at Shem’s... Continue Reading →
Apologies, Gratitude, and Transitions
If we are lucky, a time may come when we have the opportunity to exchange all our answers for bewilderment.
The End of My Dance With Cancer
My oncologist came into the exam room this morning saying, "Since we talked last week," and I said, "You're feeling much better?" "Smartass," he said. "I still can't get my mind around the fact you planned to leave town this week, and be gone for two months, and it's all working out!" "All my lights... Continue Reading →
Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel
On March 21, three days after my last journal entry, I came home from the hospital. Turns out I had no lung infection – just damage from radiation and chemo. Prednisone (a strong steroid) is the medicine that keeps the inflammation down and keeps me breathing. Unfortunately, it has bad side effects if used for... Continue Reading →
“They say it’s always darkest just before…..”
With my fifth chemo treatment scheduled for March 14th, I figured I’d update this journal that evening and also report on the results of the CT scans I had done on the 7th. First, the CT results; they scanned chest, abdomen, and pelvis. There is no sign of lymphoma anywhere. My status changed from “mostly gone” to... Continue Reading →
“O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” and “In Praise of Talismans”
Having so many frabjous days lately, I’m literally chortling in my joy, and my sister can attest to this. Joy with laughter, and joy with tears. Nothing much makes one appreciate a simple breath more than a difficult one. And nothing much makes a simple breath fully present than not knowing whether all the rest... Continue Reading →
“There’s No Place Like Home”, and “What the Hell Just Happened??”
Got home on Saturday after nine days in the hospital and am so grateful for my little place on Guist Creek Lake. There’s no place more healing and peaceful than being near water, and I came home to a warm afternoon of quiet lake under soft gray skies. My sister, Jeanne, came back from Denver... Continue Reading →
I Don’t Have the Worst Thing!
Yesterday morning I was to start my fourth chemo treatment. Instead, here I sit, on the 4th floor of the hospital, at 4 am, trying to type with an oxygen monitor taped to my finger. They evidently sort patients by their zodiac sign here, and I’m born on July 20, my sign is Cancer, so... Continue Reading →